Weed Me, Seymour!

Oh god, the weeding!  The millions of tiny little weeds!  I suppose it's good to know the soil can support life well, and I suppose it's good that I'm outside frequently, enjoying the fresh air and getting some much-needed sun (my back is a dark bronze already), but my calves and quads are stretched to the max from constantly squatting and bending, picking these damn things out of the dirt.  It's tedious!  I finally understand why they use herbicides.  NOT that I will.  But I understand it.

And my basement is flooding daily because the sump pump isn't doing what is required to get the water out to the veggies.  It's a failed system.  I'm not sure what to do anymore and I'm ready to quit the whole process and manually water from now on.

If my ancestors were farmers, they were stronger people than me, which isn't surprising.  But I'm working on it.  It's a work in progress.  Me, that is.  The mini-farm is already where it's going to be.

Setbacks, Slow-Forward Progress

Okay, so there have been many developments, none of which I've documented because of the constant developments and insanity.

First of all, the soaker hoses failed because I drilled so many holes in them that all the water came out in the first 6 feet and none made it to the end.  New hose bought and I let it just ooze water as it was intended to do, but then it took too long for the barrel to drain and the water was evaporating before soaking into the soil.  THEN I decided to drill holes again, but this time one shot clear through the hose but about every 12 inches instead of every inch.  This did the trick.  Water comes out at a reasonable rate, equally distributed throughout the length of the hose.  I'm trying to refrain from having a potty mouth in this process, but fuck, man, the hoses and water issues alone almost made me jump off a bridge.

Also, I started bringing out my seedlings to acclimate them to the outside and within a few hours of being in the direct sunlight, they all croaked.  Just shriveled up and fell over dead.  I lost all the sunflowers, carrots, Brussels sprouts, nasturtiums, green onions, wildflowers, lettuce, beans, and peas.  Gone.  Two months of effort shot all to hell.  One zucchini survived, a few pumpkins, a couple lupine, a few Galapagos tomato plants, and a  few peppers made it to be planted in the beds.  In the house I still have really immature broccoli, really immature cauliflower, really immature romanesco, and some Walla Walla onions that won't stand up straight.  SO!  Given that I had 6 flower beds (190 square feet of dirt) and not much to plant, I hit the nurseries and found some gigantic veggie plants for no more than $2 each, often $1.50 each.  I got 2 pea plants, 6 broccoli plants, 6 cauliflowers, 6 Brussels sprouts, a few tomatoes, basil, chives, some zucchinis, a bunch of lettuce, my favorite cantaloupes: muskmelons!, and a bag of 80 red onion starters.  Later I got a bag of 75 yellow onion starters, so there are something like 155 onions planted in my garden right now... yikes.  And then yesterday, in the pouring rain, I shoved a bunch of seeds in the dirt that had nothing planted in it yet, and decided to see what happens, so there are now more pumpkins planted, watermelon, sunflowers, wildflowers, bush beans, and peas.  At this point, I'm kind of burnt from all the disappointment and expense and if anything produces food, I'll be relieved.  This is the view from my bedroom now.  (Still have to do the mulching.)

All of this was going on when the house renovation stuff started.  Last Tuesday morning this big truck showed up at 7am and my roofing material was dropped off.  My construction salesguy said they'll start sometime this week, but Wednesday morning at 7:30 another truck pulled up and a team of guys with ladders began invading my yard.  These were the nicest, coolest guys and I loved every minute of having them pound away on my roof.  13 hours later, it was done.

Thursday morning at 7:30, another truck pulled up and a bunch of guys got off and started tearing off my siding.  I asked if they should be doing that, given that the replacement material hadn't been delivered, and they said yes, it was on the way, and they were in a hurry because there was an inspection scheduled at 11:30.  They pulled off the siding to reveal that the original siding was still on the house!  AND!  AND!  I could see where the original house started off, and where all the additions were made.

Here we have the back foyer on the far left with cedar planking.  In the center is the bathroom, which was an add-on from the original house!  The original house consisted only of what is my front room, dining room and kitchen (kitchen windows on the right).  Much later in the game, the two bedrooms and the back foyer were added, which included the cement and cinder block half-basement beneath these parts.  WILD!

Bathroom addition.

This is a photo of my dining room window with original siding, and beyond that are the two windows belonging to the two bedrooms.

Also, there was a south-facing window in the front room that was walled off and re-sided when they made the attic into a bedroom and put in the staircase.

And apparently they didn't get the house wrapped in time for the inspection, so the inspector left and couldn't return until 1pm on Friday, which set the progress back another day.  So, it sat, wrapped, until they were able to come back on Saturday morning.

And now it's done!  Well, everything but the gutters, and of course, it's done nothing but rain since then, and getting in and out with the roof dumping gallons of water on you is difficult.

So, Saturday afternoon, when I was supposed to be working on the neglected garden, I noticed that the front (which didn't need new siding, as it's protected by the porch and is a vertical wood paneling) and the new siding all around the house clashed really badly, were dramatically different yellows, and I ran to Home Depot and bought color-matched paint for the front.  I then painted the front of my house!

I need to paint the dormer and the trim still.  And get new address numbers for the house since those broke off in the removal process.  But my house is almost done.

To celebrate, I spent the weekend canoeing.

And fishing.

And now I'm ready to get back to farming.

Engineer or Serial Killer Needed

OHGOD, this irrigation thing is going to drive me completely nuts!

So, my sump pump well is so enormous that the 55 gallon barrel overflows whenever the sump pump drains it, which is something like three times a day.  I have over 165 gallons of water coming into my basement each day that the sump pump rids.  That's a scary thought.  And I still have no idea where that's coming from.  Egad.  Anyway, the barrel is set up and gravity is doing its job, but the soaker hoses are not draining the water as fast as the barrel gets filled.  The holes are too tiny.  So I need to go out there with a stabby tool and fix the problem, which may be therapeutic.

And, I need a new gas can so I can fill the lawnmower and mow, because goodgod, it's getting unruly.

From Paper to Reality

I may have OCD.  But at least I'm color-coordinated in my insane obsessions.

I took my new schematics...

And I bought colored popsicle sticks, and wrote on each stick the various plants that belong in various squares.  And then I inserted them so I know where everything goes.

I was nervous about using the saw to cut up the boards I'm using to string a homemade trellis for the peas and beans to climb.  It belongs to my bro, and I've never used it, nor did I know how, or what the buttons did, or even where they were.  However, I figured it out and cut the boards, gave them points, drove them in, screwed them to the sides of the bed, and never shed a drop of blood.

 Now the big challenge is the soaker hoses: how to lay them out, and how to position the water barrel.  This is going to be beyond my brainpower because the whole premise of the water vacuum in the fishtank to suction out gunk has never made sense to me, and neither does the hose system that is going on with the water barrel.  We shall see.  It will get done and I won't be able to explain how or why it works, and that will have to suffice.  I'm much better suited to design a barrel stand and build it, or color-coordinate beds to match schematics I made.

Tedium

I'm not a big fan of tedium.  And putting 120 thumb tacks in the sides of my beds, then stringing them in tic-tac-toe pattern with biodegradable twine is tedious.  This was not fun, but I have a matching schematic for my own graph paper schematics to plant the veggies in.  And I used a mallet and didn't get hurt, so that's progress.

And I found this.

After raking this bed smooth, some dogs ran through it.  These dogs.

Yeah, they're cute, and they're sweet, and they were only playing, but they're 70-pound poodles and they will trash my farm if I don't do something.  So I'm thinking I may have to surround my beds with chickenwire, because when they play, they don't even look at anything but each other and they run into things, and people, and destroy stuff.

So now, more tedium: making fences.

All I want is zucchini!!!

Let Me Out!

Um, I'm thinking the zucchinis need to go into the ground soonly.  They are starting to flower in their little starter cups.  Uh, this could be a sign: Nikki, get moving!  Jeeze, I didn't even get a single day of rest after putting all that dirt in the beds.

And the green beans, too.  They're in need of escape, and then tethering.  But space!

If only the wildflowers would start shooting up, too.  I'd be quite pleased.

The Dirty Truth

Sometimes I am sure the universe hates me.  Other times I think I'm its favorite creation.  Today was a little of both.

The dirt.

A week ago I was expecting my 5 cubic yards of dirt/compost to be dropped off, but it rained like hell that day and I was dreading the drop (moving mud in muddy grass seemed more horrible than dirt), and I wanted to cancel it myself, but I figured it was too late.  7:30 came and went.  8 came and went.  By 8:20 I was irritated because they were almost an hour late and I received no call saying they were running late or canceling.  So I called the nursery and a guy answered.  When I identified myself he said, "Oh, right, I had you on my list to call today."  At some point today he planned to call.  Apparently they can't drop dirt if it's wet.  I found this out because *I* called *them* an hour after my scheduled drop.  I was perturbed.  They'd already charged my card, and with a week of rain expected, I wondered if I should get a refund, but I let it go.  Friday I received a call rescheduling my drop for 7:30 this morning.  Adam, in the office, was nice and we laughed about the incessant rain, the expectation of good weather, and we were both very hopeful it would go swimingly.  At 8 this morning there was still no dirt and the weather was fine.  At 9 I started calling the nursery, livid.  There was no answer until 10, when I got Adam again and he was baffled about why my drop hadn't occurred.  It took him about an hour to find out that after he called his scheduling manager on Friday to tell him I was first on Monday, the manager promptly forgot to put it down.  I got a little irritated, said to Adam this was my second vacation day taken for dirt, and now I was going to have to take a third, each time sitting around for hours wondering where my dirt is and why no one is calling me.  He managed to get a special drop to me by 12:30.

Here is my dirt.

It's a long walk from my driveway to the back of my house, and the wheelbarrow and shovel were about to get the workout of their lives.

 

I'd put down cardboard to kill all the grass, but grass is really resilient, stupid grass.  Anyway, for the record, cardboard makes everything harder. 

I worked at it alone for a while, then I got help and it went much faster.  As in, it took all day instead of taking multiple days.  Many weird items were found in the soil mix that made me question the "organic compost" they were selling me.  I found lots of packaging tape, a crushed pop can, lots of electrical cables, chunks of unidentifiable glass and plastic, a cable cord, and other man-made objects.

By far, my favorite discovery was this guy. 

Hello, sir or madam.  How do you do?  Welcome to my garden.  There will be countless bugs for you to munch on.  I hope you find it hospitable and a happy place to live out your life. 

He/she did not like being in my hand.  My pet frogs used to love it because my hand was warm and they'd nestle in and sit there happily forever.  Not so here, but that's okay.  He/she was probably in shock from such a dramatic trip. 

 When all was finally put into the raised beds, I couldn't even celebrate, I was so exhausted.  My back hurts.  My legs hurt.  My soul hurts.

But they are done!  I am so thrilled!  And it is supposed to rain more this week to pack down the dirt so I can level it off better (note to self: need a rake, not a pooper-scooper) and hopefully start planting soon.

So, this is where I'm sure to be spending much of my time in the upcoming months.  I'm stoked.  And I want some damn zucchinis now!

HRH, Mini-Farmer Nikki

Things change so quickly on the mini-farm.

My lush sweet bell peppers in 2-liters were starting to grow out the top, so I took the lids off and they all collapsed and shriveled.  I think the temperature change was too harsh.  I should've done it slower, but they are starting to bounce back.

This summer, I'm going to get the goose that lays the golden egg.  Seriously, these green beans sprouted and are over a foot tall in such a short period of time, they'll be in the clouds by June.  They must be magic.  The peas next to them are strong and tall, but nothing compares with the green beans.

The cauliflower and broccoli seem to be rebounding a bit, growing stronger instead of fading away.  I think it was I wasn't watering them enough.  Even if the dirt is damp, lesson learned -- water them!

The peppers and tomatoes I'd almost given up on are doing okay in the Dixie Cups.  So weird how things can shift.

But the neatest thing is that the citrus trees I bought in December arrived today!  I got an indoor lemon and an indoor orange tree!  I'm so excited!

I can't wait to get them home and transplant them to a big, warm, new pot of soil where they will live and produce fruit for me.  I feel like a queen.